Here you go... Almost as beautiful as you! (Oh damned, no flirting. Ignore that last sentence :P)


 





...and for smiles :)





 

A song for you (but not by me :-) )

The Bride

A short story by Sebastiaan Janus

Chapter 1: The dress

Jelena looked at herself in the mirror and knew the dress was perfect. She’d been working on it for the last few days and it turned out just the way she wanted it to be. She looked beautiful, but this was no surpise. She knew she was beautiful - she was told her whole life. But she never saw herself like this before; in a clear white brides dress.

“Ok, just two more things to do!”, she told herself. She picked up a pencil and wrote a name on her left hand. Sebastiaan it said. She met the guy in Porto earlier last summer and she didn’t know what to make of him. She seemed to have triggered something in the guy; almost every day he would write her poetry and songs. He was kind, but it made her a little bit uncomfortable. They barely spoke 5 words when they met - it was just a flirt. But he was kind to her, seemed confident that this would turn in to something special. She wasn’t so sure, but she enjoyed his attention and no one had written so many kind words for her. It made her feel special.

They Skyped earlier this week and it was nice. They spoke for an hour and a half about everything, and they laughed a lot. She teased him with his silly Dutch accent, they talked about travels and work. He was planning to come over to visit her in Serbia. She promised him to send him a picture in the dress. She took her phone out of her bag to find it was running low on battery. “Oh well, I wasn’t planning on using it much anyway”, she thought and took a picture. “Look at your future bride :-)”, she joked and sent the picture to him. His reply was quick: “Wow, I’m flabbergasted. You are the most beautiful creature ever to walk this planet… Marry me!”. She smiled. “Stop it! You remember what you promised?!”. She had told him to stop with all the compliments. More jokes, less flirting. He had promised her he would try, as long as he could continue to write for her. She had agreed. Apparently, this time, he didn’t try hard enough. “Have a wonderful party tonight, dear! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”.

“I’ll try…”, she teased. She called a taxi.

〜

She wouldn’t fade. It seemed that how harder he tried to focus, the louder she would be present in his brain. He was sitting in his small appartment in Leuven, trying to get his mind straight. He sighed, took his notebook and started writing, like he had been writing for every single day since they got back in touch. Years before, he had given up writing to be with a girl that didn’t like all that “dreamy creative bullshit. It won’t get you anywhere, you know? It’s not gonna pay the bills!!”. She was right, it wouldn’t pay the bills, but now he picked up his old hobby and it helped him to calm his mind again. He wanted to be with her. He wanted to go over there and explain what he saw in her smile, that one night in Porto. How it seemed to him that he could read everything she was, just by that single smile. Instead he wrote. About his dreams haunted, about her smile, about her. He drifted away as the words became ink on paper. This was what he used to love about writing: his brain working on high speed, synapsis sparking, looking for the right words. It almost felt like he didn’t have control over what was written.

He was halfway through the page when his phone beeped. He picked it up and it was her: “Your future bride :P”. It showed a picture of her; so elegant, so beautiful. In a dress that fitted her so perfectly, he was without breath. “I’m flabbergasted”, he wrote. “Marry me!”. He knew he shouldn’t say this, but what could he do about it? She looked like the perfect picture he had in his dreams. And she even kept her promise: He saw his name written on her left hand. Never before had he wanted anything more then to hold that hand. To take her dancing, to take her to anywhere in the world.

He made a decission. It was crazy, outrageous almost. But he had to see her. Tonight. He looked at the clock and wondered if there would still be a flight to Belgrade. He quickly took a bag, threw in some clothes and a toothbrush, and rushed to Brussels Airport. He was in luck - the evening flight to Belgrade would take him there before midnight. He had no plan, he just had to go. He purchased the ticket and left.

〜

The party was just getting started when she arrived. Music was shouting from the stereo and her friends were already there, dancing, flirting, drinking. There was a good atmosphere in the big appartment. She went over to her friends to say hi. “Jelena! Good to see you! Any new poetry coming your way, muse?”, Marija winked. She was dressed as a witch, complete with a fake nose. Jelena showed what she had received the other day. “Awwww, that’s so nice! I think I’m falling for him, too bad I’m already married!”, she laughed. “You look lovely, by the way! All ready for a husband to show up. Let’s get a drink!”. They walked over to the improvised bar and poured themselves a glass of red wine.

“I don’t know, he’s cute… ...and kind… But I barely know him! We only talked for a minute in Porto.”, Jelena explained. “I guess we will see whatever happens when he comes over. I’m sure it’s gonna be fun to show him around. Did I tell you he found this cute little place to eat in Belgrade? I think he’s really looking forward to come over.”

“It sounds like you two will have a lot of fun. It’s so nice to get to know someone from scratch, to find out all the little differences between each other.” The place was filling up nicely, more and more people where showing up. There was a guy dressed as Di Caprio in Wolf of Wallstreet, she saw Superwoman, a ghost. “I feel like dancing!”, she said. Marija agreed. The DJ just started Hey Ya from Outkast, a song she danced on in Porto. She smiled and danced with her friends, including all arms and legs. It was a pretty picture.

〜

He was waiting for the boarding to begin. “What the hell am I doing?”, he thought. “This is crazy! I can’t just show up unannounced. She will think I’m a stalker! She will never want to talk to me again!”. Doubt was consuming him, but it was too late now. All he could do was get on the plane and see where this adventure would take him. He hoped it would turn out to be ok, that he would be able to hold that hand that had is name written on it. He sighed and took his bag. Boarding started.

〜

She was enjoying herself. She danced and she laughed, the wine tasted nice and got to her head a bit. The place was packed, people in different costumes were laughing and drinking. A guy dressed as Pedrag Bjelac walked up to her and said: “Hey beautiful, you’re definately not Frankensteins bride, are you?”. His voice was slurry and his breath had a heavy smell of alcohol. She never met the guy before and she didn’t want his attention. She smiled and said: “You would know, you look like the monster of Frankenstein yourself!”. She showed her left hand. “Already occupied. Pick someone else”. He left her by herself. She walked over to the bar for another drink. Marija was talking to her husband. They looked so in love, so cute. She saw his hand touch her face to whipe away some hair. He tried to kiss her, but the fake nose poked him in the eye. They laughed. She walked passed them when it all changed.

The lights went out, everywhere. The music stopped. Hell broke lose.

End of chapter one.

Words and letters

Seven years I left behind me

Making words designed for you

I will keep on moving forward

Learning how I can be true

Even though this might be nothing

Just a flirt, a tender smile

Even if I never see you

Let this moment be worth while

Even if I’m only dreaming

Never have I slept  so well

And if you deside to leave me

You tought me how to tell

Opened something deep inside

Under layers of lost time

After 7 years of doubting

Revealed how nice it is to rhyme

Endless words seem to have found me

Before always left untold

Even I could not imagine

As my heart was oh so cold

Up ahead I might be near you

Tell you sweet words in your ear

If I ever get to hold you

Full of words I will be near

Unseen words will keep on flowing

Let me write for you, my muse

Smiles and dreams

Now you’re there

Haunting my dreams

like a ghost in a scene

Keeping me restless

And hungry for words

To tell what I saw

When your smile punched a hole

Through the walls that I built

With the bricks from my past

And in comes the light

Understanding so bright

That I felt I was blinded

by so many reasons

made up by fear

To let somebody close

To my heart

And my dreams

And my words

Dance together to a song

And your smile

And your face

put a light on what was wrong

Could this be right?

A woman so beautiful

With a soul that’s so kind

seems unlikely to find

And why does she

Have to be far away

Could this be the one thing

I never experienced

Twisting and turning

As I lay here to fall asleep

Questions and doubts

And the worries consume

But when the sleep hits

And your smile re-appears

The strength that I feel

Takes care of all that I fear

And my dreams

And my words

Dance together to a song

And your smile

And your face

put a light on what was wrong

And I know

When you’re near

There is nothing left to fear

And my dreams

And my words

Dance together to a song

The girl with the big fingers

There once was a girl

With fingers so big

She couldn’t type words without error

Each sentence she wrote

Would quickly erode

And turn her mood right into terror

And when she was told

By this guy, brave and bold

That her smile was the prettiest thing

She quickly replied

With her fingers too wide

Dravcl fwodcn klopling

Smile, Jelena :-)

A smile so pure

went straight into my heart

Never again will I be insecure

Or will I fear brand new start

A smile so light

That it makes me shiver, my dear

When I lay alone at night

without your beauty near

A smile so perfect

it doesn’t matter what you are

If you’re evil, I will take it

just don’t tell me Au revoir

And if the day appears

that this smile is mine to take

No longer I’ll have fears

Will my heart be without ache

There’s just one more thing to say

I will make this worth your while

And that every single day

I will try to make you smile

Proost, liefste
Ik drink op jou en je lieve schat
Proost, liefste
Jaren zal ik op je moeten wachten
Proost, liefste
Ik hoor je klokken luiden in mijn hoofd
Proost, liefste
Je gaf me een sigaret